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    Speaking of buying cars.

    Most Honest Viper Craigslist Ad Ever

    Wednesday 9:53am Filed to: Viper


    Okay. Full disclosure. I almost killed myself in it.
    It is VERY powerful. Extremely, EXTREMELY fast.
    I’ve driven Ferrari’s that don’t feel as crazy as this thing. I am frankly afraid of it now.
    That’s right. It’s in my garage and I’m afraid to drive it because it’s like a crazy steroid bull that wants to kill me.
    I’ve done 130 mph on a Ducati while laughing into the face of death. The viper is a completely different bowl of crack. The engine sounds like 40 pit bulls eating kittens while lifting weights.
    I cannot truly explain it’s power. It has whiplash acceleration in 3rd gear at 50mph. That sentence doesn’t even make sense. But it’s true.
    That’s why I’m telling you. I will not have your soul on my conscience.
    You need to know what you are getting into. What insane level of crazy you are buying.
    Can you resist the urge to mash down the accelerator? Can you? Because it’s like owning your own demon. A demon that wants to kill you. We all know one person that for the right amount of money would kill you. But since no one is paying, they smile in your face and go about their day.
    It’s like that except the Viper doesn’t bother to ever pretend it doesn’t want to kill you.
    And it will do it for free.

    Some brilliant engineer designed a beautiful sexy bulging body, fantastic suspension, great handling, aerodynamics, and all American style. While he was out on his lunch break, some demented maniac dropped 100 times more engine power than necessary into it and sent it out the door. It’s mentally unbalanced.

    If you are the type of person that can be talked into having one more drink at midnight when you have a very important presentation or interview early the next morning, then the Viper is not for you.

    The whole car is constantly whispering sweet lies to you.
    “You got this”.
    “Open me up and ride free, you got this”
    “What are you a pussy?”
    “Just do it”, “Do it”, “you got this”.

    Do not do it. You don’t got it. You ARE in fact a pussy. And as we all know, pussy is mad good. But not that good.
    You will sit on the curb and settle your heart after it tries to kill you the first time.
    You will get back inside and it will immediately get back to the business of trying to get you to let it murder you.
    “You got this. This time you know. That last time was just a fluke. You ain’t no pussy”.

    Repeat after me.

    But for $30k you can look the devil in the eye and take this ride.

    You were warned.

    2001 Dodge Viper

    2001 Dodge Viper For

    "The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.”
    Tucker Max

    Infirmitate Invitat Violentiam
    Finicky Fat Guy

    No lifesaving nannies on those Deadly snakes and they are certainly a handful to drive not to mention uncomfortable as hell itself but the sure are a blast!
    "Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction" R.R.


      Beautiful car! Wished I could. Lose the air freshener on the mirror unless it's Hoppes or WD40.
      Exercise the Bill of Rights. It's good for your Constitution.


        That is one great looking car.


          My friend bought one. Talk about a car that turns heads. Almost every car and pedestrian (at red lights) would yell, wave, thumbs up, etc. He actually couldn't stand it. The exhaust pipes run right under the door wells, and if you don't get burns, the heat gets annoying If you hit the gas too hard, from a stop, you just spin the wheels. When I found out he sold it, I wanted to kill him for not telling me. I would have bought it. I might be wrong, but I think $30,000 is steep for a 2001, but they are unique, and look sweet. My friend's was a 2005, I think. He got it new for $88,000, and sold it less than a year later for $50,000!
          NRA Benefactor Life
          NRA Instructor & RSO
          NYSRPA, SAF, GOA