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    Zoo claims Gorilla had ties to Islamic State

    Zoo claims Gorilla had ties to Islamic State


    The Chaser May 31, 2016

    Pittsburgh Zoo authorities have released new information that shows suspicious links between the gorilla killed on the weekend and Islamic State.

    But the zoo has denied it was attempting to quell the moral outrage that has followed the killing of Harambe – a silverback Gorilla who was shot after a child fell in his enclosure – by blaming it on terrorists.

    “Actually, I first started getting suspicious a few months ago. He stopped being social and became very withdrawn,” said a spokesperson for the zoo, Hans Fischer. “I figured it was just because he was locked in a zoo. But then I found smears of his own faeces under his bed. I could have sworn it looked like Arabic and said ‘Kill all the infidels’. Or maybe it was just poo.”

    Mr Fischer said he believes authorities were right to shoot the 200-kilogram Gorilla. “We couldn’t risk putting a child’s life in danger like that. Who knows how many chapters of the Koran he might have been indoctrinated in before we could get help?”

    A source at the National Security Agency said that zoos nationwide had been put on alert. This is clearly a reason to start bugging plush toys of every American child who has expressed a desire to visit a zoo. We can’t be too careful.”

    “I wouldn’t be surprised if the Pentagon started conducting tactical drone strikes against zoos. After all, Al Qaeda has a cell-like structure, and so do zoos.”

    Responding to critics who labelled the conspiracy as “bull shit”, Mr Fischer replied, “Bull shit? I’m pretty sure it came from a Gorilla… but we’ll run some tests.”

    Pat ------> NRA Endowment Member

    #2
    Much needed levity on this very sad story. Thanks for the smile.

    Rest in peace Harambe.

    Dumbass parents should never have reproduced

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by Lovemyglock View Post
      Much needed levity on this very sad story. Thanks for the smile.

      Rest in peace Harambe.

      Dumbass parents should never have reproduced
      They should be arrested and charged with child endangerment and also animal cruelty because the gorilla was killed.
      "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." Martin Luther King, Jr.

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by Aquabach View Post

        They should be arrested and charged with child endangerment and also animal cruelty because the gorilla was killed.
        Did you hear about the dumbass father's rap sheet? It's a mile long. Talk about child endangerment!

        The zoo said they won't be filing charges and would do the same thing again if it had to. Poor gorilla was actually a victim before he even died. Living in captivity is no life for a wild animal.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Lovemyglock View Post

          Did you hear about the dumbass father's rap sheet? It's a mile long. Talk about child endangerment!

          The zoo said they won't be filing charges and would do the same thing again if it had to. Poor gorilla was actually a victim before he even died. Living in captivity is no life for a wild animal.
          UPDATE: PARENTS OF BOY WHO FELL INTO GORILLA ZOO EXHIBIT IDENTIFIED, FATHER HAS LENGTHY CRIMINAL RECORD...

          OHIO - Michelle Gregg, 32, and Deonne Dickerson, 37, are being investigated by police in Ohio for negligence after their four-year-old son fell into a gorilla exhibit at the Cincinnati Zoo. Watch the video here.

          Gregg is an administrator at Little Blossoms Academy preschool in Cincinnati. Dickerson has a lengthy criminal record over the past decade that includes burglary, firearms offenses, drug trafficking, disorderly conduct, criminal trespassing and kidnapping.

          No charges will be filed.================= Lawsuit!!! Wait for it.

          Comment


            #6
            Seems to me the wrong Gorilla was shot.
            Here's the fine upstanding parents.
            Glad to hear the mother who couldn't watch a 4 yearold and was distracted by other kids is a pre school administrator.

            MAIN-Parents-of-child-that-fell-into-Gorilla-enclosure.jpg
            "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." Martin Luther King, Jr.

            Comment


            • Destro
              Destro commented
              Editing a comment
              I could understand why the kid wasn't scared of the gorilla (the one in the zoo).

            • Augustus
              Augustus commented
              Editing a comment
              ^^ that's just wrong 😜

            #7
            poor gorilla but a human life should br valued higher then any animals .

            even if it has stupid parents
            let's make america great again

            Comment


              #8
              There are more kids than gorillas...jus sayin'...
              SHADAP VARMINT!

              Comment


                #9
                Kid was innocent of his parents faults as was the ape. No telling what the gorilla would have done to him if agitated more. That being said if it was my kid that fell in, I would bust out the fucking Barrett M-82 to save them.
                Last edited by Surfer21; 05-31-2016, 04:29 PM.

                Comment


                  #10
                  Originally posted by Surfer21 View Post
                  Kid was innocent of his parents faults as was the ape. No telling what the gorilla would have done to him if agitated more. That being said if it was my kid that fell in, I would bust out the fucking Barret M-82 to save them.
                  Let's remember. the kid didn't just "whoopsie"fall into the gorilla habitat.
                  he supposedly said to his mother that he was going to go into the water, he crawled through something like 12 feet of bushes and over a barricade then fell into the moat all the time his mother was probably talking on her obama phone ( i made that last part up)
                  "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." Martin Luther King, Jr.

                  Comment


                    #11
                    maybe not in this case , but sometimes Darwin does right, BOY ENTERED BEARS' AREA ON A DARE - NYTimes.com

                    www.nytimes.com/1987/.../boy-entered-bears-area-on-a-dare.ht...


                    The New York Times


                    May 21, 1987 - LEAD: The 11-year-old boy who was killed by two polar bears at the Prospect Park Zoo in Brooklyn Tuesday night entered the enclosure on a ...

                    Comment


                      #12
                      You know how you know this article is BS?
                      if the gorilla had ties to Islam they would nebver had shot him
                      "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." Martin Luther King, Jr.

                      Comment


                        #13
                        If negligence was demonstrated, then the parents should be indicted. It's really that simple.

                        Comment


                        • Mad Russian
                          Mad Russian commented
                          Editing a comment
                          No biggie for the father, he's used to it...

                        #14
                        Originally posted by Paté View Post
                        Zoo claims Gorilla had ties to Islamic State


                        The Chaser May 31, 2016

                        Pittsburgh Zoo authorities have released new information that shows suspicious links between the gorilla killed on the weekend and Islamic State.

                        But the zoo has denied it was attempting to quell the moral outrage that has followed the killing of Harambe – a silverback Gorilla who was shot after a child fell in his enclosure – by blaming it on terrorists.

                        “Actually, I first started getting suspicious a few months ago. He stopped being social and became very withdrawn,” said a spokesperson for the zoo, Hans Fischer. “I figured it was just because he was locked in a zoo. But then I found smears of his own faeces under his bed. I could have sworn it looked like Arabic and said ‘Kill all the infidels’. Or maybe it was just poo.”

                        Mr Fischer said he believes authorities were right to shoot the 200-kilogram Gorilla. “We couldn’t risk putting a child’s life in danger like that. Who knows how many chapters of the Koran he might have been indoctrinated in before we could get help?”

                        A source at the National Security Agency said that zoos nationwide had been put on alert. This is clearly a reason to start bugging plush toys of every American child who has expressed a desire to visit a zoo. We can’t be too careful.”

                        “I wouldn’t be surprised if the Pentagon started conducting tactical drone strikes against zoos. After all, Al Qaeda has a cell-like structure, and so do zoos.”

                        Responding to critics who labelled the conspiracy as “bull shit”, Mr Fischer replied, “Bull shit? I’m pretty sure it came from a Gorilla… but we’ll run some tests.”
                        Well These guys WERE seen around the enclosure recently....


                        Sucks that they had to put the Gorilla down, All because of idiots who manage to reproduce but fail to become Parents...
                        Take a young person shooting.... Take 2 or more if you can...

                        Comment


                          #15
                          Originally posted by Aquabach View Post
                          Let's remember. the kid didn't just "whoopsie"fall into the gorilla habitat.
                          he supposedly said to his mother that he was going to go into the water, he crawled through something like 12 feet of bushes and over a barricade then fell into the moat all the time his mother was probably talking on her obama phone ( i made that last part up)
                          Kids are "escape and evade" artists and also say some crazy ass things, again it a 4yr old kid.
                          Last edited by Surfer21; 05-31-2016, 04:28 PM.

                          Comment

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